September 11, 2001 - A Day To Remember

We had this chapel service at school for remembering 9.11.01.

I have tried not watched footage of the devastating acts, and have avoided it, if possible, because the visual images are so upsetting. I avoided it because I remembered how horrid it was, as we were watching CNN live at Cal State Fullerton in my world history class (ironic, huh?). Our Arabic professor told us that it was extremists, and that we were watching history unfold. Classes were canceled. Campus was empty.

It was weird and I remember roads being empty that day, empty skies above, everything was canceled. I remember worrying about life, and I remember thinking that life as we knew could very likely change. From my room at my parents house, I could easily view the flight path that comes into LAX and I remember seeing it empty, not a plane in sight. I used to count lights from the planes, the long line of incoming planes as a kid at night, and watch them from my bed, after I was supposed to be asleep. But when I went to bed on 9.11.01, the skies were silent.

Now, I remember 9.11.01 every time I go through airport security and get screened. As unpleasant as it is, I think of how many lives I hope are being saved by the inconvenient, sometimes unfair, bothersome and annoying process.  Yes, I remember 9.11.01 every time I have to fly.

But today, at school,  I was faced with it again.  And, again, it was horrific, as we watched everything. As a mother, a wife and a teacher, it hits me so much harder now, thinking of the lost souls, the hurting families, the angst filled teenagers, the grieving spouses, and the parent-less little children. It hit me so deeply today, more that I remember ever feeling about this before.

This time I cried.  Today, I grieved for 9.11.01.

My new ipad

The new ipad that I get to use for my job this year, is quite interesting. My daughter is having way more fun with it then I am. I think the big challenge for me will be to integrate the ipad technology with choir. I've thought of many practical everyday classroom uses for it, but connecting it to choir. :) 

Day 4

We are on day 4.  I had a yummy breakfast of milk and cereal. And I'm in a great mood! Oh, wait. I should probably add that I had twice the normal serving this morning, and it's got cinnamon and sugar in it.  I just bought 3 boxes of this yummy cereal a week or so before deciding on a starting date for the diet. My spouse won't eat the cereal, it's too sweet for our little one, and so someone must eat it so it doesn't go bad!  Nope. No one else here to eat it. I guess I must!

Diet. Day 3

Four reasons why I think people break from diets, or yo-yo.
1. Bleh. The food is not exciting, making even worse for the texture-sensitive or picky eaters. There are SO many "eat this" and "do not eat this." So, as a picky eater and one sensitive to food textures, my list of what I can eat becomes even smaller because there is so little on there of what I actually do like to eat.
2. Time. It takes more time because you have to prep so much more food. You also have to go regularly to the grocery store to keep fresh produce in stock.  Exercise also takes more time.
3. Discipline. If you are not disciplined, it's easy to sneak, eat extra, or completely eat the wrong thing.  And it's even harder to get back in-discipline, once you've broken for just a bite.
4. Moods. It's mood altering. I know for me, dieting puts me in a dull and sometimes grumpy mood. It also makes me depressed, because I can't eat what I want to eat or what I see others eating. 

Diet. Day 2

Ok. Day 2. Not so good. Still hungry all the time. The whole positive attitude was gone. Why? No butter. No sugar. No cheese. No crackers. No soda. No flavor. No fun. Yes, I had a small case of the "grumps."   But.... I did have vegetables, and I didn't blow my three fruits of the day in a smoothie.

I'm hoping today goes better, because I sure don't like myself when I'm grumpy.  It's so hard to not let my grumpy attitude affect me, or how I am with others. It takes self-control.  I find it a little frustrating that the kinds food that goes in my body affects my outlook and my energy level.

I think it's the vegetables the makes me grumpy! : D 

Diet. Day 1

Today, I began. I started the dreaded diet.

Last night, we celebrated my last night of food freedom(?) by eating out at a restaurant we had not eaten at in a while (which has potential for good diet/out to eat meals). I had fries, a burger, and a strawberry lemonade. Yum.  Then, I finished up the last of my favorite Mint Chip ice cream that was sitting in our freezer.

Surprisingly, once I remembered I was starting the diet today, all went well. So, maybe I haven't had as many veggies as I hope to be consuming by the day 1 of next week. But, as I sit here at my kitchen table, listening to the water boiling for the hard-boiled eggs I am making, and watching my little one play with Play Doh, I feel like I've made good effort today.  But, I've almost had all my water for the day, had my multivitamin I've had good portion control, and I've done physical activity, beyond the normal mother-busy-around-the-house-chasing-kids physical activity. I just wish that I didn't have a headache. I'm sure it has something to do with carb and fat withdrawals.

I've done this before. I've dieted with success, even long-term-temporary success. I know I can do this, at least for short term results. But hopefully this time it will last a little longer, and maybe, just maybe, I can stay down a little while longer. If I'm persistent with self control, maybe this time I can make it a life change!  Sad thing is right now...I'm hungry.

The End is Near... the end of the summer, that is.

I am sitting on my couch, enjoying a nice big mug of Irish Breakfast tea, watching my little one clean up her tea set, and set up her "table-head." Her name for Mrs. Potato Head. I am sadly getting closer to the end of summer, mostly I am reminded by my husbands enthusiasm that his summer school course is almost over.  And, I groan. The end of summer brings two things that I am dreading. 1) I am starting on my low cholesterol, low triglyceride diet and 2) I have go back to work. Now, with that in mind, I actually really like my job. It's just leaving my little one behind that I dislike so much. However, I am looking forward to making another year of music with my students. I'm thinking all gospel music or close to it, for our fall concert. So, two weeks from yesterday, I am back at work.

The other thing I am dreading is this awful diet.  I have not lost the baby weight... and I promised that I would start back on this diet once my little one stopped nursing. She stopped nursing in November, so I'm a little late on the start. It's time that I start back.  So, come Monday I start this diet. The foods that I love, I will have to neglect, no fats, no starches and no sugars. Ahhhh!  Well, I did it before and lost weight and got healthier. Maybe I can do it again this time. This time, I'm not quite as picky of an eater. I like a few more things this time around. I like spinach in my smoothies, and I like sweet potatoes without sugar added, and a few more things too. Hopefully I can acquire a taste for some more green veggies this time around. 

Well, I need to go eat some ice cream. I have until Sunday at midnight. :)