September 11, 2001 - A Day To Remember

We had this chapel service at school for remembering 9.11.01.

I have tried not watched footage of the devastating acts, and have avoided it, if possible, because the visual images are so upsetting. I avoided it because I remembered how horrid it was, as we were watching CNN live at Cal State Fullerton in my world history class (ironic, huh?). Our Arabic professor told us that it was extremists, and that we were watching history unfold. Classes were canceled. Campus was empty.

It was weird and I remember roads being empty that day, empty skies above, everything was canceled. I remember worrying about life, and I remember thinking that life as we knew could very likely change. From my room at my parents house, I could easily view the flight path that comes into LAX and I remember seeing it empty, not a plane in sight. I used to count lights from the planes, the long line of incoming planes as a kid at night, and watch them from my bed, after I was supposed to be asleep. But when I went to bed on 9.11.01, the skies were silent.

Now, I remember 9.11.01 every time I go through airport security and get screened. As unpleasant as it is, I think of how many lives I hope are being saved by the inconvenient, sometimes unfair, bothersome and annoying process.  Yes, I remember 9.11.01 every time I have to fly.

But today, at school,  I was faced with it again.  And, again, it was horrific, as we watched everything. As a mother, a wife and a teacher, it hits me so much harder now, thinking of the lost souls, the hurting families, the angst filled teenagers, the grieving spouses, and the parent-less little children. It hit me so deeply today, more that I remember ever feeling about this before.

This time I cried.  Today, I grieved for 9.11.01.